HOLY COW! It’s getting so real.
My twin sister, Katelyn got married a couple weeks ago and that is when it hit me. She’s married and I am leaving the country for almost a year – everything and every relationship is going to change. I don’t always do so well with change. Even though I am so happy for my sister and adore their marriage, and even though I am beyond excited for the World Race, nothing will be the same. This isn’t a bad thing, just a new thing. And that’s okay. The realization of the changing relationship on top of saying my first goodbyes, I’ve been a little emotional and a little scared.
I don’t know what life will look like when I get back from the Race and I’ve been super sad about leaving but all of my fear and sadness has been about just that – leaving and returning – not about the trip itself. I realized that’s how I know it’s still the right decision for me – I am still called to this. I’ve been devastated at the idea of leaving Katelyn for 11 months and the rest of my family, missing a best friend’s wedding, occasionally wishing I could just settle down and start a career, stay and get married… I realized even though all of these things are good and can even be God-honoring, they are still rooted in worldly desires – desiring my plans over God’s. I decided to do the World Race based on my childhood dreams of missionary but, in October, based on one word: dependence. Depending on God is how I am at this point, how I will fund this journey, and how I will reach the nations. This dependence is all I will have.
I cannot wait for this experience. 44 days until it begins!
